Ugh—Ungaowa
A Saturday Rant 11-3-01
This was my first experience in “publishing.”
So what the hell does that title mean? When I was in my second year at the
University of Virginia (1966) one of the “traditions” of this “academical village”
was the acceptance of hard spirits. It was part of the culture of the institution.
And at football games we would all bring a hip flask filled with bourbon to mix
with Coca Cola to help us root for our team, nicknamed The Wahoos.
This was in an era when Virginia could have been beaten by Vasser. I remember
that one of the top teams in the nation came to Charlottesville; perhaps it was
Purdue. While we had no business playing a top ten team, there we were, in the
stands hoping for a miracle. I had one “Coca Cola” too many and decided that
we needed a new cheer. Next to me was my friend who was the assistant editor
of The Cavalier Daily, the school paper (which I worked on.) I told him my idea
and he said sure, lets do it.
We both thought. Then IT came to me: UGH UNGAOWA, WAHOOS GOT
THE POWER.
I said, “I’ve got the cheer. This will work. We’ll be famous. Let’s do it.!”
My date (also blitzed), me, the editor and his date all started chanting UGH
UNGAOWA WAHOOS GOT THE POWER. Then the people behind us picked
it up. It was great. Our whole section started chanting it. In two or three minutes,
the entire Virginia section of some 12,000 spectators started yelling UGH
UNGAOWA, WAHOOS GOT THE POWER. The cheerleaders could not figure
out what was going on, so they just joined in. For the entire game, we yelled at
the top of our lungs, UGH UNGAOWA, WAHOOS GOT THE POWER.
People were patting me on the back, buying me hot dogs, offering me drinks,
and telling me what a great cheer it was, how talented I was, and that I would be
immortalized. And I believed them. It was a great afternoon. I thought that
maybe this cheer would be inscribed in Virginia sports culture and I’d be
remembered as the author and publisher of the cheer. And I think I would have
been, …except that we got beat something like 84 to nothing.
When the game ended, no one on the paper wanted to be seen near me. When I
went to the fraternity parties that evening (I was an independent but had many
friends who were brothers in various houses) no one wanted to talk to me. I
didn’t understand why until two days later. One of the stories in the sports
section of the paper the following Monday had a headline that read “New Cheer
Helps Cause Huge Loss”
The story went on with interviews from players who said they could not
concentrate on the game because they were wondering what “ugh ungaowa”
meant. Virginia had high academic standards for their athlete-scholars and our
players had high IQs. The story asked, “Is it no wonder that ‘our calibur’ of
player would be thinking about the meanings of the ‘dumb’ words of “ugh
ungaowa” instead of the complex play that was called?” Instead of concentrating
on running a “post pattern” the wide receiver was trying to figure out if “ugh
ungaowa” was some kind of obscure Latin conjugation. Or perhaps it was
Swahili for “Hey man, want a toke?” And the author suggested that perhaps
those in section “B” might have been responsible, especially the man who
thought it up. And for the first time in my life I got my name in the papers… and
I was “branded” as the cause for the worst loss in Virginia history. Lucky me.
Well as you might imagine, the cheer was never heard again. For the rest of my
years there I had to live with the dubious distinction of being the
author/publisher of “ugh ungaowa.” And even now, at least once very year, I’ll
hear from someone who sees my name in a Rant or some other article on the net
and who was at U. Va. when I was there. They write how they remember “me”
for that cheer. It was not the kind of legacy I had hoped to leave, but it’s the one
I have (besides the fact that I was a terrible student and they almost had to burn
the place down to get me out!!) And to this day, I think about that “dumb” cheer
(usually when I’m behind a glass of Jack Daniel’s with Coke) and consider
myself lucky to have learned such a valuable lesson so early in life…. that one
“thing” can make you a hero one minute, and a goat the next… and that the
“heroics part” will be quickly forgotten, but nobody ever forgets the “goat part”
of your personal “ugh ungaowa.”
In book authoring and publishing, your words and books are your own personal
“ugh ungaowas.” Just like my story above, the world will look at the “final”
effects of your “ugh ungaowa” and make a judgement as to whether you are a
hero or a goat. This is why I beseech writers and publishers to take a hard look
at their submissions and their lists.
Many writers and publishers produce books that they think will SELL, not
books that they think SHOULD be sold. Just like my “ugh ungaowa” cheer,
publishers who put out books for dummies, idiots, “soup” heads, etc. make a lot
of money. Everyone cheers. But by “Monday morning” I believe that they will
be looked upon as not part of the solution, but a cause of the problem, just as I
was.
The problem? People will be buying fewer and fewer books in the years to
come. Why? The dumbing down of our society. And it is not just the large
houses that do this. Small and mid size houses are as much to blame. Go into
any large bookstore and see what is being published. Do you ask yourself “who
reads this stuff?” as I do. I also ask, “who publishes this crap?” And every once
in a while it is someone that I know.
No, not every book is going to be a literary treasure. But of the 60,000 books a
year that are published (164 a day) how many of them, even the best sellers, are
going to be considered an “ugh ungaowa” on “Monday morning.”
When publishing was hard, when publishing was costly, when publishing was
limited, I believe the quality of the industry’s product was better. Now anyone
can get their own “ugh ungaowa” published for a few thousand dollars. So we
have tons of books sitting on thousands of shelves which become nothing more
than grim monuments to the trees that died to make them. Being a publisher is as
easy as standing up in the stadium and yelling “ugh ungaowa.”
No, I don’t blame our industry completely for the dumbing down of America. I
think most of the blame goes to the electronic media, the school systems, and the
lack of morals of our leaders. But we’re part of it and I think we have to take
responsibility for the “ugh ungaowa’s” that we produce.
There is a lesson and moral here. But I worry that so many publishers are so
“dumbed down” that even if I hit them over the head with a 2×4, it would be lost
on them.
THE GATHERING STORM
Remember that title from a famous book? Well, there is another storm on the
horizon and it’s one that could actually throw this country… the world into
shambles. Do I overstate? Maybe. But this has the potential to be big.
Five or ten years ago, the big fight was between the Mac and the PC platforms.
But that battle is over now. The Mac, while not dead, has seen its growth halted
and most analysts don’t ever see the Mac getting beyond a 12% total market
share, and even less than that in the corporate market.
The prevailing opinion by most of those “in the know” is that if you have a Mac
and you are not in the graphics/printing business, than you have limited your
abilities to get the most out of your computer investment. But is that really true?
I’ll come back to his later.
But like I say, that war is over. For better or worse, it is an Intel world. You can
deny it if you like. You can fight against it you like. But bottom line, the Mac is
going nowhere fast.
The gathering storm is going to be over Windows and Linux.
I see more and more “resources” and “interest” being directed at Linux. For
those who don’t now, Linux is a Unix-like desktop operating system that is very
low-cost (actually free if you want it that way). It is “owned” by no one.
Support is provided by the users… much like the support you get on Pub-Forum
or other user groups you belong to. There are a few companies who have
“packaged” Linux with an install procedure, manuals, support, etc. One of the is
called Red Hat, Inc.
I didn’t think Linux would ever get past the university or the geek-heads and get
into the mainstream business market, but I am seeing it happen.
The first big thing that held up adoption of Linux has been no standard user
interface. But one is developing (called GNOME) and I think it will become a
de-facto winner. The ones that are out there now are getting more and more
sophisticated and are Windows look-alike systems, just like Windows was (is) a
Mac look-alike… documents, folders, drag/drop, etc. So the learning-curve for
Linux is not very great if someone is coming from a PC or a Mac.
The second bit thing holding back Linux has been the lack of an office-suite of
applications that business depends on… word-processing, spreadsheets,
presentation-makers, etc. However, one has emerged and is (was) called Star
Office. Sun bought it from the developers and has made it free
(http://www.sun.com/software/star/staroffice/5.2/). I have not tried Star Office, but I
hear good things about it.
Is there a chance that Linux could “take over” the market? A year or so ago, I
would have said no. But I’m seeing more and more developers look at this
market and they are making “money” decisions to develop applications to run
under Linux.
The question is whether anyone will “buy” software for Linux as the culture in
the Linux community is that everything should be free! But if Linux breaks out
into the corporate arena, the money will flow… especially if the TCO (corporate
lingo for Total Cost of Ownership) is significantly lower than Windows
(especially if your company has 10,000 desktops.)
I won’t go into an analysis of whether Linux is “better” or “worse” than
Windows. Nobody cares. Here you have a free operating system coupled with a
free business suite… that can create documents compatible with MS Word, MS
Excel, etc. And you have the ability to get outstanding support from a huge
number of online user groups. And you don’t put any money into Bill Gates
pocket.
I know a guy. Doesn’t matter what he does. He’s just a guy who is a self-
employed computer user, but not a geek. However, he has a limited income. He
needed a new computer. Last month he bought Red Hat Linux and got the Star
office system for his new computer (no-name clone.) He looked at the
economics of getting Windows 98 or 2000 along with MS Office (which is
about 90% of what he uses on a day to day basis) and decided to go the Linux
route. And he is happy as a clam… so far.
Why didn’t he get a Mac? Or Windows? His answer is that he can do everything
he wants (needs?) with Linux and Star… and it cost him about $600 less than a
PC or Mac with MS Office. And he claims that Linux is more stable.
Am I saying that you should go out and jump on the Linux bandwagon?
Absolutely not. But keep your eyes open. There is something happening out
there. If my friend decided on Linux, I have no doubt that many, many others
will as well… when/if they ever find out about it.
I think Microsoft and Apple have something to fear here. There is no brand
loyalty to Gates or Jobs. People just want to get their work done as easily as
possible and at the lowest cost. And you can’t beat the cost of Linux right now…
or Star.
I know that if I were a starving new business operating on a shoe-string budget, I
would give Linux and Star a look-see.
What it comes down to is the argument that Mac users make all the time. They
say “Even if there is not as much software for the Mac, what is out there is all I
need.” I think that it won’t be long before Linux users will make the same pitch.
And right now, today, there is more software for Linux then there is for the Mac.
I don’t know how good it is, but there is stuff out there (although I’ve yet to find
a product to enter and send and receive credit card sales for authorization (like
PC Authorize or Transact-It).
If the “Linux community” standardizes on one GUI, and if they can make a
“plug and play” install procedure for Linux, and if someone comes out with a
high-level development tool like Visual Basic for Linux (Java is just too
cumbersome, IMO) than this “Linux thing” could really happen, happen quickly,
and happen soon.
And if the large corporate community decide that they are sick and tired of being
“extorted” by the Redmond “mafia’s” new licensing (i.e. “Hand over the
money.”) policy, Linux could be big.
I’m not making any bets and I’m not going to gamble the house on Linux. But
I’ve seen the new XP product this week and I’m not buying any Microsoft stock
for a while.
Alan N. Canton
Vice President
Adams-Blake Publishing